Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Good Grief?

Grief is an emotion we experience at one time or another. The stages of grief are the same no matter what the cause: death, divorce, or loss of a friend, job, pet, a golden dream, health, financial stability or experiencing a miscarriage, to name a few. Not everyone goes through the grief process in the same way or at the same pace. It is a process that takes time;  it cannot be rushed through or forced onto someone.  However, it is an essential, important process if one wishes to heal and get past their grief.

Elisabeth Kubler – Ross, a psychiatrist, introduced her “Five Stages of Grief” in 1969. Although it is said they do not have to progress in any special order, there is argument that they all must be present to achieve healing. However, it is agreed they do, at least in part, need to occur.

Five Stages of Grief:
1. Denial – “This isn’t happening to me!”
2. Anger – “Why is this happening to me?”
3. Bargaining – “I promise I’ll be a better person if…”
4. Depression – “I don’t care anymore.”
5. Acceptance – “I am ready for whatever comes.”

If you are experiencing any of these emotions following a loss, it may be of help to know your reaction is natural and in time, you will heal.


“Three things are fundamental to an understanding of mourning. First, each loss launches us on an inescapable course through grief. Second, each loss revives all past losses. Third, each loss, if fully mourned, can be a vehicle for growth and regeneration.” ~ Vamik D. Voklan, MD

“Suppressed grief suffocates, it rages within the beast, and is forced to multiply its strength.” ~ Ovid

“To spare oneself from grief at all cost can be achieved only at the price of total detachment, which excludes the ability to experience happiness.” ~ Erich Fromm

“He that conceals his grief finds no remedy for it.” ~ Turkish Proverb

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